Love is in the Air: A Financial Checklist for Couples

About to get married? Congratulations! As you step into this exciting new chapter, talking openly about your finances can help you start strong. By having honest conversations now, you can set the tone for a marriage built on trust.

Here’s a helpful checklist to guide those discussions, both before and after you say “I do.”

1. Style check

With the cost of a U.S. wedding averaging $33,000, a good place to begin is by understanding each other’s spending styles. How do each of you approach budgeting, saving, borrowing and everyday money decisions? Are you both natural savers? Impulsive shoppers? You don’t need to think exactly alike, but talking through expectations early creates a healthy foundation.

It’s also worthwhile to get into the details. Will you talk with each other before making a large purchase? And what qualifies as “large” for the two of you? These early conversations can build confidence in how you’ll make decisions together.

2. Goals, shared and personal

One of the most energizing parts of building a life together is imagining what your future will look like. Short-term goals might include saving for a trip, paying down a loan or buying another car. Longer-term aspirations could involve starting a family, buying a home or investing for financial freedom. Asking questions—such as whether you plan to take on debt for your wedding (67% of newlyweds do)—can help you be aligned as a couple, and helps shape how you plan, save and spend. With shared goals in place, you can begin designing the financial systems that support them.

3. Bank accounts—shared or separate?

Once you’ve talked about goals, the next step is deciding how to manage your day‑to‑day finances. Some couples prefer a fully joint approach, pooling everything into shared accounts. Others like to keep things separate and manage expenses individually.

There’s also a hybrid approach many couples find helpful: maintaining individual accounts for personal spending, while creating a shared account for household needs and savings goals. The right approach is the one that feels respectful, transparent and comfortable for both of you.

4. What’s mine is yours (or not)

If one partner is bringing debt into the marriage, talk openly about how you’ll handle it. Will the debt remain separate? Will you tackle it together? How might income differences affect those decisions?

It’s equally important to discuss existing assets like property or investment accounts. While you might not want to think about divorce at this happy stage, setting up expectations now can help prevent misunderstandings later.

In our island home, it’s also common for individuals to support loved ones outside the household—whether it’s parents, a sibling or relatives “back home.” With the cost of housing, you might also consider moving in with parents to save for a downpayment. If so, will rent or shared finances be part of your budget?

5. The road to retirement

Every couple envisions enjoying their retirement years together, but the journey may look different for each household. Will you contribute equally to retirement accounts? Or if one earns more or one decides to stay home with children, the balance might shift. The key is to make sure the plan feels fair, supports both partners and sets you up for long‑term financial security.

6. It’s budget time

How committed are you to your budget? A 2025 survey found that 40% of U.S. adults in live-in relationships have committed financial infidelity—defined as spending more than a partner would be okay with or spending in secret. Another survey found that 2 in 5 adults believe keeping financial secrets is as bad as physical cheating.

With that in mind, checking in about your shared budget and goals can build more than a financial foundation—it can build a trusting, loving foundation for years to come.

7. Preparing for the what‑ifs

While it’s never easy to think about unexpected loss, preparing for it is an act of love and consideration. You can meet with an estate planning attorney to create a plan to help manage assets and ensure your wishes are followed. It’s important to review insurance options to make sure your household could stay financially stable if something happened.

And don’t forget to review beneficiaries on bank accounts, retirement plans and other financial tools. It’s a simple step that could make life much easier during a difficult time.

8. Keep communicating

Talking about money isn’t a one-time event. As life may unfold with new jobs, new goals, children and new priorities, continuing the conversation can keep you aligned and connected—emotionally and financially toward the life you want to share together.

Reach your possible together

Bank of Hawaii is ready to support you as you build your life together. Whether you’re opening a checking account, growing your savings or saving for a home with a certificate of deposit (CD), our accounts can be opened jointly—giving you simple, flexible ways to plan and save as a team. Wherever your goals lead, we’re here to help you reach your possible.

This material is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to be relied upon as research or tax, legal, investment, financial or accounting advice. You should consult your own tax, legal, investment, financial or accounting advisors before engaging in any activities or transactions.