I Dos and Don’ts
It finally happened. You found “the one” you want to spend the rest of your life with.
And you want everything to be perfect – the wedding dress, invitations, reception, and if you had a say in it, even the weather. While you’re planning out your to-do list for the perfect wedding, be sure to set aside enough time to talk about what your finances will be like well before you’re married. Although love is a very big part of keeping your marriage together, one of the most important elements of a successful marriage is being able to manage your money together.
Love and Money
After you are married, you and your spouse will be financially responsible for each other and to each other. This responsibility includes legal things like being liable for joint debts and filing a joint income tax return and physical things like putting food on the table and paying the rent.
But, it also has an emotional aspect. You owe each other openness and honesty about discussing your finances. The chances are that you and your spouse bring different financial backgrounds to your marriage. One of your families may have been more affluent, one of you may be more inclined to use credit cards or one of you have better financial organizational skills. One may be very interested in financial matters and the other may not care as long as there is money in the bank to pay the bills.
Have a Talk
Over time, the financial tendencies that you bring to your marriage will probably be blended into a financial lifestyle that both of you are comfortable with. To help that blending process, consider spending some time, perhaps an evening alone, where you discuss your finances and perhaps even agree on some financial policies:
There may not be perfect answers for these questions, but the discussion will be valuable. Here are some ideas that may make some of the conversation easier:
How many checking, saving and credit card accounts are you going to have?
Even though you will be married, each of you will remain your own person and should continue to have individual accounts, especially individual credit cards. Each of you will have your own credit report. Consider continuing to have your wages deposited into your individual accounts and then transferring funds monthly into a joint account that is used for your monthly expenses. If you have different credit card habits, you may want to pay your credit card bills from your individual accounts.
Whose income will be used for household expenses?
Each of you might have different levels of income. While it may sound attractive for one income to pay the bills while the other income is dedicated to saving, this can often lead to hard feelings. Consider splitting the financial responsibility for monthly bills in the same ratio as your incomes. If one of you has a monthly income of $2,000 and the other has $3,000, split the expenses 40% and 60%. If your monthly expenses are $4,000, transfer $1,600 and $2,400 respectively from your individual accounts into a joint account where you pay these bills. That way, each of you is contributing and you are both saving money each month.
Who is going to pay the monthly bills?
Paying bills each month is a task that must be done. Consider switching responsibility a couple of times a year so it does not become too much of a burden on either of you. Even if one of you has the actual check writing duty, be sure to discuss your bills each month. It is important that each of you know what is happening financially.
Should you consider a pre-nuptial agreement?
A prenuptial agreement is a legal contract that specifies how a couple’s assets would be divided in case of a divorce. In general, assets that are brought to a marriage and that stay in an individual’s name remain the property of that individual. Assets that come to the marriage after the wedding day are usually considered jointly owned assets. As a practical matter, over time, the source of assets usually becomes blurred and can be an issue in a divorce. They can also be used to help spell out some of each person’s expectations – who will work, who will stay at home with a child – and how any inherited assets may be treated. If there is a family home that has been passed down through the generations, you may want an agreement that specifies how it may be treated in case of a divorce. An agreement may also be wise if one party has significant debts.
Some Things to Take into Consideration:
Securing Your Financial Future Together
Getting married is a big step in your personal life. It is also a big step in your financial life. Get to know your partner financially before you are married, discuss your finances often and you may find that these financial discussions will bring you even closer together as you dream of your future.
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